Once again, we are surrounded by love and support from all sides. We know how blessed we are to have these people in our lives. We arrived at the church yesterday to see that there were already many people there, aside from my dad, aunt and uncle who were practicing the songs, many people from Patrick's church in the West Island had come all that way to help us celebrate Evangeline's short life and to mourn with us. My family was there, and so many friends. For such a tiny little baby, there were so many people who loved her already.
The priest we had asked to lead the service, was the same priest who married us. I found so much of what he had to say, so very insightful. He said that Evangeline came to prepare the way. He also talked about how her name means "a little good news", and she was. In the short time we had her with us, she was the best news for us. Even on a bad day, all I had to do was think of her, and know she was coming, for everything to suddenly be okay. And now she's come and gone, and here I am, changed. I am a mother. My daughter is an angel. I had a baby. I have a baby. We are orphaned parents for now, but parents still. Yesterday was a difficult day, but I know the worst is behind me. I know that the future isn't what it used to be. But we still have a future. And hope.
I guess I'm sad today. I didn't expect that. I thought I would feel more closure, but I feel like I've put her in the past, and she doesn't belong there. She belongs in the present and in our future. I need to find a way to keep her there. I miss her terribly....with every ounce of my being.
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