Today, Patrick and I met with the priest who will be presiding over the memorial mass we're having this weekend. He started by saying that there were many people praying for us and named some in particular. At this point, he went to the door, because there was someone outside. It was one of the women he had just referred to, Anna. She wanted to offer her condolences. Then she shared that she and her husband had also lost their first baby, a boy. She said that it had taken her close to 9 years and three more children, to get to a place where she felt resolved and at peace with losing Arthur. She spoke lovingly of her children and the special relationship they have with the older brother they've never met. She also mentioned that she considers herself to have four children, not just the three surviving ones. In her, I felt hope. I have said over the past month, that I know there is hope, that women have shared stories with me that inspire hope in me, but this was concrete. She said that her second baby, a girl, was turning 24 today. And then she said something that I have heard in different forms in the last little while, but have not believed until the words came from her mouth. "One day, this will be a grace in your lives." She said that she still loves and misses her first born, but that she loves him as she loves his siblings, and each magnifies the love for the other. I so look forward to being there, where she is now, 25 years later. She spoke of the joy she and her husband felt when the doctor placed her second baby on her, healthy and pink and real. And that she would love to meet our second baby. I felt such love coming from her, and for her, and don't think she could ever realize how much. I hope to one day, be that love and hope for someone else. That would be a grace.
I miss you my sweet babygirl....
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