It really is.
People keep asking how I'm doing, how I'm recovering from surgery. Physically, I guess I'm fine. I feel mostly okay, aside from some light cramps, pressure, etc. from the stitches. I won't really know until my ultrasound in 4 weeks. And that, is the hardest to bear. The slightest little cramp, sends my mind reeling. I've read that it's all normal, but I don't know. I have to actually refrain myself from running to the ER everyday. The spotting seems to have stopped, thank the Lord. I sometimes wish there was a little window, through which I could see baby bean and my cervix.
I've also lost weight since the surgery, about 5lbs. I hope I can gain it back simply. It scares me. I haven't had much appetite, but I'm trying to eat three meals a day....but they're mostly small meals. I just want this baby to be okay and thrive and be born at a healthy weight. If s/he is going to come early on top of it, I need to make sure s/he has at least the advantage of weight.
These last few days, in addition to praying for a healthy, as close to full term as possible baby, I'm also praying for my own peace of mind. My heart starts racing so quickly, with any little thing, and my mind is tired. Even my dreams are filled with fears. Please, God....help this baby and help me....
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Cerclage-An extra line of defense
I had my cerclage this week.
There were little miracles happening that I didn't notice at the time. Some, I still can't see, but I hope my eyes will be opened to them eventually. The biggest one...After waiting two hours for a bed, they cancelled my surgery. At the time I did not know that they had cancelled all inpatient surgeries. There were no beds. On the way home, Patrick said we need to call the Dr.'s office and ask them what to do. I was annoyed, I said our Dr. is at the hospital, the secretaries can't help us. I still listened to him and called. The secretary seemed livid that the hospital would cancel such a time sensitive surgery. She then told me she'd handle it. 5 minutes later, the hospital called me and told me to come back, they'd do the surgery after all.
So, at around 1pm I was in the OR. (We had initially arrived at the hospital at 6am, as per their instructions). By 2:30pm, I was back in my room. The surgery was painless but very uncomfortable, quick, the epidural was strong. I had already started dilating, so this confirmed for our Dr. that she was doing the best thing for our baby, that I truly have an incompetent cervix. There were some complications about 8hrs later that our genius nurses figured out and fixed. I was kept in for 48hrs. I was sent home yesterday on full bed rest with slight bouts of modified bed rest allowed. I'm still spotting. I'm pretty much a bleeder, however, so the slight spotting isn't alarming to the doctor, or even to me. I've read it's quite common after a cerclage. I will feel much better after it stops.
Last night Becky called me to tell me she'd heard on the news and read in the paper about all the surgery cancellations at our hospital. It was a big deal. There were no beds, so much overcrowding. 13 surgeries were cancelled, including a man who wrote in and was supposed to have prostate surgery on his late stage cancer. Mine was the only one that was put back on the roster. With me having started to dilate, and no one knowing (not us, or our doctor, recent ultrasounds showed a normal cervix), this procedure, done when it was, just gave our little peanut a fighting chance. A miracle.
Now, I need to get to 20 weeks, and I'll have more time behind me than ahead of me. I've broken down my goal into smaller little goals. We can do this.
There were little miracles happening that I didn't notice at the time. Some, I still can't see, but I hope my eyes will be opened to them eventually. The biggest one...After waiting two hours for a bed, they cancelled my surgery. At the time I did not know that they had cancelled all inpatient surgeries. There were no beds. On the way home, Patrick said we need to call the Dr.'s office and ask them what to do. I was annoyed, I said our Dr. is at the hospital, the secretaries can't help us. I still listened to him and called. The secretary seemed livid that the hospital would cancel such a time sensitive surgery. She then told me she'd handle it. 5 minutes later, the hospital called me and told me to come back, they'd do the surgery after all.
So, at around 1pm I was in the OR. (We had initially arrived at the hospital at 6am, as per their instructions). By 2:30pm, I was back in my room. The surgery was painless but very uncomfortable, quick, the epidural was strong. I had already started dilating, so this confirmed for our Dr. that she was doing the best thing for our baby, that I truly have an incompetent cervix. There were some complications about 8hrs later that our genius nurses figured out and fixed. I was kept in for 48hrs. I was sent home yesterday on full bed rest with slight bouts of modified bed rest allowed. I'm still spotting. I'm pretty much a bleeder, however, so the slight spotting isn't alarming to the doctor, or even to me. I've read it's quite common after a cerclage. I will feel much better after it stops.
Last night Becky called me to tell me she'd heard on the news and read in the paper about all the surgery cancellations at our hospital. It was a big deal. There were no beds, so much overcrowding. 13 surgeries were cancelled, including a man who wrote in and was supposed to have prostate surgery on his late stage cancer. Mine was the only one that was put back on the roster. With me having started to dilate, and no one knowing (not us, or our doctor, recent ultrasounds showed a normal cervix), this procedure, done when it was, just gave our little peanut a fighting chance. A miracle.
Now, I need to get to 20 weeks, and I'll have more time behind me than ahead of me. I've broken down my goal into smaller little goals. We can do this.
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