It really is.
People keep asking how I'm doing, how I'm recovering from surgery. Physically, I guess I'm fine. I feel mostly okay, aside from some light cramps, pressure, etc. from the stitches. I won't really know until my ultrasound in 4 weeks. And that, is the hardest to bear. The slightest little cramp, sends my mind reeling. I've read that it's all normal, but I don't know. I have to actually refrain myself from running to the ER everyday. The spotting seems to have stopped, thank the Lord. I sometimes wish there was a little window, through which I could see baby bean and my cervix.
I've also lost weight since the surgery, about 5lbs. I hope I can gain it back simply. It scares me. I haven't had much appetite, but I'm trying to eat three meals a day....but they're mostly small meals. I just want this baby to be okay and thrive and be born at a healthy weight. If s/he is going to come early on top of it, I need to make sure s/he has at least the advantage of weight.
These last few days, in addition to praying for a healthy, as close to full term as possible baby, I'm also praying for my own peace of mind. My heart starts racing so quickly, with any little thing, and my mind is tired. Even my dreams are filled with fears. Please, God....help this baby and help me....
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